|
this is the movies section. It is not downloadable movies, its all reviews of movies i have seen recently. yes,
movie reviews. Check it out.
PAPARAZZI
Oh my god, DONT see this shitty movie. I can describe it in 4 words. waste of my money. CAUSE IT SUCKS! But before
i diss the hell out of it with my uncanny diss ability, i should get to the plot. This idiot with the name "Bo"
(possibly one of the stupidest names i've ever heard) becomes and action star all fast and shit. Hes all overwhelmed and
stuff cause of all the flash photography in hollywood. Some dude is takin pictures of his kid at a soccer game, and "Bo"
gets pissed and beats the guys shit. Some guy gets pictures of that, and everything goes downhill from there. Tabloids start
takin pictures of the dude all the time, and they diss him like crazy. Because of this, "Bo" drives around for
like, a freaking half hour, in his "new GMC truck!" product placement, anyone? So "Bo" goes on a wacky
mission to kill a bunch of paparazi after they took pictures of him in a car accident. He goes on killing them all, but Burt
reynold his detective is watching him the whole time, and gets suspicious. The problem is, Burt never finds out its "Bo."
Burt reynolds is the only badass thing in this movie, and they wouldnt even let him bring his full badassness to the table.
GEEZ! I was so bored during this shit-fest of a movie, that I started checking my watch to see when it would end. Except
i had some milk duds soaked in movie theater popcorn butter so i savored the taste of those to pass the time. Dont see this
movie. DONT. thats all i got. pEace out.
I, ROBOT
This movie is so freaking tight. Its got badass action, a freaky ass story, and other stuff.
First of all, its in the future. Robots are human servants, or something. And this one dude who made the robots
dies. Anyway, will smith is a cop whos all badass and hates robots. he goes to investiagte the creator dudes death.
This one robot the creator dude made was all exta smart, so he killed the creator and ran away and stuff. The humans
wanted to kill him. Anyway, the new robots naturally evolve or something, and start kicking ass. The plot
was good and stuff, but it was too complicated to explain. ANYWAys, This super computer from the robot headquarters
thats connected to all the robots convinces them to rebel against the humans. So they do. But the humans wont
have any of that. THey make a restistance and start bustin robot heads.So will smith allies with the extra smart
robot and this lady. They gotta go kick ass all the way to the supercomputer mainframe crap. There, they bust
the crap outta more robots, and bust open the supercomputer. every ones happy in the end. But man, this was a
tight movie. Will smith was good for the lead actor dude. He was always making wisecracks which made the movie
better to the max. I would reccommend this movie absolutley. 3 and a half out of 4 stars. yes
THE VILLAGE
man, this was a crazy movie. It has a big secret at the end, so there will be spoilers in this review.
Dont read if you plan on seeing the movie. Or read it, i dont care. Anyway, The Village is a story about this
family in the 1910's who live in a little village surrounded by woods. In the woods live these "creatures." They
will go after anyone who goes into the woods. And the creature are freakin tight. They wear these red cloaks and
got spikes and shit comin out of their backs. Might not sound cool, but they scare the crap out of you in the movie. Anywho,
this one dude does, so the creatures come into the village and get more weird. So the dude who went into the woods gets
engaged to this blind girl. But the blind girl's man-child friend gets all jealous, and he stabs the woods dude.
THey lock up the man-child, and the blind girl asks to go out to an outside village, for medecine. One of the dudes
who runs the town tells her that the creatures are fake, just a ruse by the elders (of the village) to keep people from leaving.
So the blind girl goes out with two other dudes (cause shes blind. duh.) but they get freaked out and run away.
Anyway, there is a creature out there, and it tries to kill blind girl. She trips it into a hole. Turns out the
creature was actually the man-child, cause he found a costume hidden under the floorboards of his cell. Man, i was so
dissapointed at theis point. They make you think, oh yeah, these creatures are tight! then you find out theyre
fake, and your like "what the fuck is going on? i thought they were real! then you think theyre real again, and your like
"damn, that was a tricky-ass-trick. i done been fooled!" but then theyre fake again. At that point, i was pissed.
HOw you gon make fake creatures the coolest stuff in the movie? anyways, it turns out the village is actually in 2004, and
the 1910 thing is a scam by the elders of the village to keep things peaceful. THats supposed to be the big, suprise,
but i was too pissed about the creatures to care. ON the other hand, the creatres are creepy as hell in the early part
of the movie. yes. In conclusion, it was actually a good movie, if you think about it, but i felt ripped off for a while.
|
